Yami Springer
by medoriko
Summary: Seto,Joey,Yami and Yugi are in a group to do a multimedia project. They decide to reenact the show Jerry Springer. Chaos ensues. Yaoi. SJ YYy and maybe other. FINAL CHAPTER UP!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own it… duh…

Hello folks. This fic was a inside joke between me and my friend alex (Alex ROXS). Anyways, I hope you enjoy this ok? Onward with the fic. THIS IS DEDICATED TO YUGIGIRL932/jandpglassllc/Kaiba's Little Sis (In reality this is the same person… can't remember which to choose… ;

Chapter 1: The Joys of school projects

/scene change,action,or someone's thought/

In History

The class was noisy as usual. Various students were missing and many were talking loudly, throwing various things or sleeping. This kept on until the teacher, Mrs. Makoto, blew her whistle; the loud and shrill noise got everyone's attention.

Class (minus joey): OO!

Joey: snore VV

Mrs. Makoto: . Thank you all for your cooperation. Now, as you all have heard there will be a multimedia project. I will pair you off in a group of 4's. Now, get together in a group when I call our names…..

And the final group will be Yami, yugi, Mr. Kaiba, and Joey. Now, the point of this is to use some sort of technology to do something interesting but it has to be something that was not really done in the past.

Yami: oh that's easy…

Mrs. Makoto: Do a good job.. some of you will need it… looks at yami

Yami: hey now…But I do need that A …But then again I'm in a group with Kaiba so he wont let me fail.

Kaiba: Guess again.--

Yami: Oo; But…

Yugi/ comes over/ Hi Guys !

Kaiba: Now all we need is to wake the puppy. /pokes joey/

Joey: huh ?

Yami: Morning, we have to do a project together.

Joey: Oh I know.

Yugi: But you were asleep

Joey: I'm psychic! And Pyrokenetic .

Kaiba: What else is new? --/ after he nearly burnt my house down/

Yugi//looks nervous isn't that kinda dangerous…

Joey: Yep pretty much.

Yugi: Oo.

Kaiba: Ok people, let's get to work. /Lazy bums… except my puppy /

Joey: How about we do something cool like a TV show….

Yugi: Hey we should do our own talk show…

Joey: yeah…. I was made for stardom…starry eyes

Kaiba: so what are we gonna call our "talk show"

Yami: YAMI SPRINGER!

Yugi: OO

Joey: …..

Kaiba: --; Idiot

Yami: ; Sorry…. What I meant was to call it Yami Springer… you know… after that shows Jerry Springer…

Yugi: Oh ok….

Joey/pout /But I want to be the host…

Yami: But you are much better off being a guest…. You can do all the cool stuff like…..thinks

Joey: LIKE WALK AROUND NAKED!

Yugi and class: OO!

Yami: I guess….

Kaiba: Not a bad idea…. now THAT'S a thought

Joey: Oh come one… its not like you guys haven't thought about it….

Yami: Right. It's settled then. It will be called Yami Springer.

And that was the start of another one of Yami's bad ideas.

TBC…….

Can someone please tell me why wont let me do the anime expressions ? If you know, tell me in a review. Thanx! Im annoyed.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: How many times have I've said this…

Chapter 2: The closet and a studio audience

At Lunch

Yami: This is gonna be a great project.

Yugi: Yeah. But I don't have a video recorder though…. How are we going to film this….

Yami: And where?

Yugi: I guess we could do this at our house…

Joey: shakes head Don't you guys want to outdo everyone else?

Yugi: Well yeah….

Joey: Then all we need to do is…..

Yugi/yami/leans forward/ Yes….

Joey: Rent a real studio

Yugi/face fault/

Yami: I hope you can pay for that….--

Joey: I can't… but Kaiba can…

Yami: And how do you think you'll be able to convince him….

Joey: Just give me 10 minutes to get him to a closet and I'll convince him.

Yugi: JOEY YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO FIGHT, IT'S WRONG!

Joey: who said I was gonna fight him?

Yugi: but you said….

Joey: oh yugi…. What's gonna occur in that closet is rated NC17… /naughty grin/

Yugi: OO The horror….

Yami: Make him scream …

Joey/drags Kaiba out of lunch room/

Hours later after school is out

Yugi: I wonder where they could have gone….

Joey/ Disheveled and out of breath/ Hey guys….

Kaiba/ Shirt is ripped/ don't ask... --

Yugi: You guys were gone all day… what happened?

Joey: Well…. /flashes condom package/

Yugi: OO /passes out/

Kaiba: loser ……..

Joey: . Well… we got the studio /sheepish grin/

Yami: Then lets get over there and start getting ready

In Limo

Yugi/teary eyed/Joey... I thought you had better morals…sleeping with Kaiba to get the studio….

Joey: But he and I hump all the time

Yugi: Oo. Joey!

Joey: well, we do….

Yami/snaps fingers/I knew it… that's where all that noise from the bathroom came from…

Joey: I try to be discreet….but Kaiba's something else…

Kaiba: I try my hardest

Yugi: Besides, sex should be sacred…. Not just for the sake of it…

Joey: But yugi…Kaiba and I have been together for a long time…. I just didn't tell anyone…

Yugi: oh….

Joey: Besides, it IS sacred when we fuck because I swear I'll call every God or Goddess you can think of by the time he and I are done. !

Yugi: OO

Yami: How nice…

Joey: Speaking of which /glomps Kaiba/

Joey/Kaiba/furiously makes out/

Yami: ah… the power of love… it's like… spicy barbeque….

Yugi: Oo?

Yami: Tastes so good makes me wanna slap my momma!

Yami's mom: I love my son so much /walks up to give him a hug/

Yami: backhands her

Yami's mom: Xx;

Yugi: SOMEONE CALL 911 STAT! OO!

Yami: No… it's her time… /bows head in silence/

Kaiba: You'd better not let her rot in here…. /goes back to making out/

Yugi: OMG you killed your mother…. OO!

Yami: NO I HAVE SET HER FREE! I WILL SAVE THE WORLD YET AGAIN! COME YUGI LET US BE OFF!

Yugi: what are you talking about? Oo?

Yami: THE DEVIL HAS CLOUDED YOUR MIND I WILL SAVE YOU YUGI! GRAB MY HAND AND FLY YUGI FLY! DO THE HUSTLE/does the hustle/

Yugi: Oo….ok I don't get it…

Kaiba: I told you all he was crazy…

Joey: No… he's schizophrenic… IM crazy….

Yami/does the tootsie roll/

Yugi: I give up….

Joey: I wonder…. If you're wearing heels… and you're running and the heel breaks… do you run in a circle… this puzzles me…

Yugi: I…don't know… why do YOU want to know? Joey do you cross-dress and I not aware?

Joey: Is the sun purple?

Yugi: no….

Joey: oh… ok bad example…..

Yugi: OO I'm surrounded by crazy people… well except Kaiba….

Kaiba: The puppy may be completely out of his box…. But he's one hell of a stripper

Joey: why thank you….

Yugi: stripper? Oo;

Yami/stops dancing/ never pegged Joey to be a cross dresser…or a stripper

Joey: Don't knock it till' you've tried it

Kaiba: Besides, Joey in a short skirt in a short skirt is a VERY pleasing image…

Yami: I bet…./drools/

Joey: Hey we're at the studio. Let's get settled in and see what we can do.

Everyone (except Kaiba): YAY!

Kaiba: Like it matters… Yami will fail anyways… !

TBC!

I hope you enjoyed this chapter of the fic and I'll try to update this AND the chapter to Joey on my mind by the end of the week. K? JA ne!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own yugioh or any of its sexy bishounen…..

Hello all. This is the next chapter of my little humor fic, so please enjoy and DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW! Thanks a

Bunches. /gives out cookies/.

Chapter 3: Not completely there

/ At Jerry Springer Studio/

Joey: Somehow we're gonna have to get rid of all the things that says 'Jerry Spinger'…

Yami: And replace it with yami springer merchandise. /grin/

Seto: What for, no one's gonna buy it anyways ….

Yami: ………

Joey: I'm gonna have my own concession stand.

Yugi: cool. What kind of foods will you sell?

Joey: Who said anything about food? I'm selling weapons /smile/

Yugi: weapons Oo;

Joey: Yes indeed. Missiles, grenades, flame throwers…

Yugi: Joey I don't think that's legal…

Joey/not listening/ stun guns, army tanks…. Hey I might even sell naked pictures of myself… P

Seto: Oh no you don't. I'm NOT having crazy stalkers coming to my house to try and kidnap you cause of your "innocent" pictures….. Again…. --

Yugi: Well anyways…. We need to have a script and we also need to change the studio a bit…

Yami: Joey and I will set up the studio and you and Mr. Ice block can do the script k?

Yugi: Yami be nice….

Yami: I try… it's not my fault someone shoved a rod up his posterior ….

Seto: ass wipe….--

Joey: Um, fight later… work now…

/ Seto and Yugi/

Seto: Ok first off we need to have some sort of topic for the episode.

Yugi: Yeah… /thinks/ How about 'Life and the pursuit of Love'

Seto… sure…. If we were broadcasting the happy hour….

Yugi: meanie ….

Seto: Sentimentalist…but if that's the only idea we have…. It'll have to do. We'll really have to just go with the flow of things cause I'm not about to write out a whole 30 minute script.

Yugi: I wonder how yami and Joey are coming along….

/Meanwhile/

Yami: OO! Look at all the buttons…..

Joey: Shiny…/smile/

Yami: well enough of that… lets get to work…/climbs ladder/ I'll just take down this sign and replace it with the sign I made myself.

Joey: And I'll go and make sure everything works. /walks up to rope/

Yami: shouldn't professionals do that?

Joey: Nah, I'm perfectly capable. Hey look costumes/drops rope/

/Light falls and crashes on random guy/

Random guy: ow… Xx;

Yami…awesome

Joey: oops… butter fingers…../sweatdrop/

Takeshi (OC): Well, I see you're just as clumsy as ever… but no less beautiful.

Yami: the hell? He came in here like the matrix Oo;

Joey: Takeshi why the hell are you here?

Takeshi: I work here…

Joey: Oh… finally got a job huh?

Takeshi: Yes, and now I'm ready to support you… /hopeful look/

Joey: Not on your life you unemployed loser...

Takeshi: That's employed loser…. Wait a sec… Oo;

Yami/snicker/

Joey: Look I told you to stop following…. I said there would be dire consequences… now you have to learn the hard way…/pulls out chainsaw/

Takeshi/Yami: OO!

Takeshi: oh #$

Yami: Hey someone bleeped it out…#$$#

Yugi: Hey what's this button do/pushes it/

Yami: Kaiba is a cold blooded asshole. Hey I can hear myself curse now!

Joey/starts chainsaw/ Takeshi you…

Yugi: OO/presses button again/

Joey: Mother $$

Yami: Kaiba's a scaly $$#

Kaiba: Hey now….--

Takeshi/running from Joey/ SOMEONE HELP ME!

Joey/chasing him with roaring chainsaw/ Takeshi you Mother $ I'll #$# kill you. You $#$#$ $#wipe! I keep $#$$$ telling you to leave me the #$ alone…!

Yugi: The horror OO!

Seto: My puppy has such a little potty mouth /smile/

Yugi: Little potty mouth Oo?

Yami: Hey look he actually sliced him in half…. That's gotta hurt.

Yugi/passes out/ Xx

Takeshi/dead/ Xx

Seto: Better get the janitor /walks off/

Joey: I don't think he'll need to do that… I'll just hide the body. /throws Takeshi out of a window/ Well that takes care of that /smiles and ignores screams from below/ who wants cookies?

Yami: I DO!

/Elsewhere/

Seto: The hell/looks at sign on studio door/

/Sign says 'Leave studio. Or I come find you kill you all dead. Happy Trails./

Seto: oh yeah… THAT'S scary…Great my murderer is almost as dumb as Yami... / At least use a complete sentence…/

Idiot… --;;

TBC

Please review... Thanx!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own it… blah blah blah

Hey everyone. This is, obviously, the 4th chapter to Yami Springer.

Joey: In which we start our first, and last, episode!

Seto: Thankfully, I doubt anyone would actually watch it….

Yugi: Well on with the chapter and don't forget to review ok?

/ The Windex of Doom/

Yugi/staring at the destroyed studio/ who could have done this… OO

Seto: Oh yeah I REALLY wonder….--;;;

Yami: hehe…. /innocent look/

Joey//hanging from ceiling light/ HEY LOOK EVERYONE I CAN FLY!

Yugi/Yami: OO! JOEY NO!

Joey: Here I come. /falls/ SOMEONE SAVE ME!

Seto/calculates where Joey will land/…. I see…. /side steps/

Yami: huh/Joey lands on him/ Xx….. Oww…..

Seto/snicker/

Joey: Aw… yam yam you broke my fall /hug/

Yami: Xx…

Seto: well… until the loser gains consciousness I guess we'll have to clean the studio up….

Yugi/grabs broom/ YAY! IT'S CLEANUP TIME! WHISTLE WHILE YOU WORK /whistles/ WHISTLE WHILE YOU---- /stops and looks at seto and Joey/

Joey/Seto: …….

Yugi/sweat drop/ don't make fun of me…../continues sweeping/

/ five minutes into the cleaning process/

Joey: well Yami has miraculously revived and is now helping with the cleaning. /check/ Well that's about everything. I think we'll be able to start the show soon, once everything else is together and- Seto what are you doing?

Seto/kissing Joey's neck/ …..

Joey: um… we should be working not…..hmmm……/moan/

Seto/naughty grin/ let's take this elsewhere….

Joey/Seto/Runs of to nearby closet/

Yami/walks by/ I wonder where they went…..

Kuro: Hello you must be yami. My name is Kuro and I will be your camera man for today. /Hears Joey moan loudly/ what was that?

Joey: Seto harder!

Yami: Ermm… that's nothing important…Wait how do you know my name?

Kuro: well that sign over there said so…. /point to poster on door/

/ Sign reads: 100,000,000 dollars for the murder of Yami Atemu please send any proof of murder to Mr. Seto Kaiba at the given address. Thank You for your time. /

Yami: --;;; figures….

Kuro/thinks for a moment/ I could you some extra cash…. /pulls our rifle/ Sorry man….

Yami/THINK FAST/….. /pulls out some Windex/…. --;;; /Ra hates me I just know it/

Kuro/Pulls trigger/… nothing happened… /checks gun/ Oh no bullets, I'll be back don't go anywhere?

Yami: oh… ok then. /sits and waits while knitting a vest/

Yugi/runs in/ Yami I saw what happened are you ok/out of breathe/

Yami: Chill my hikari. I'm just waiting for him to come back, he didn't have any bullets. Silly homicidal killer…/chuckle/

Yugi: OO….you're waiting for him?

Yami/pulls up vest/ Do you think this will fit you?

Yugi: YAMI HE"S COMING BACK DO SOMETHING!

Yami: He is? Ok then. /pulls out Windex/

Yugi: Windex… he's a goner…

Kuro: See you on the other side- WHAT THE HELL!

Joey/naked/ what? I just came to get some lube erm I mean lotion… my skin is dry…. Yeah….

Yugi: OO /nosebleed/faints/

Yami: niiice…

Kuro/drools/

Joey: My I didn't know I had so many fans /smiles/walks away/

Kuro/drops gun by yami and continues to drool/

Yami/see's gun// Now's my chance// sprays kuro in the face with Windex/ TAKE THAT!

Kuro: NO NOT THE WINDEX! IM MELTING/melts into a puddle/…

Yami: hmmm… /mops him up and tosses mop out of window/ Well that's taken cared of.

/ an hour later/

Yugi: well… the studio audience is here and is ready. And I believe that everyone who should be here is here… and everything else is in check. Now the only thing that is missing is…. Seto and Joey. I haven't seen Seto at all since we started to clean up and I haven't seen Joey since… well…. Since that incident. Where could they be? And WHAT could they be doing?

Yami: Oh I think the question really is HOW are they doing it/snicker/

Yugi: now yami, I know seto and Joey are….erm… sexually active. But they have enough sense and dignity to NOT do that kind of stuff in a professional setting. Right?

Yami: Wrong. /points/

Joey: Hey guys…

Seto…

Yugi: Joey… why are your clothes wrinkled so much?

Joey/looks at seto accusingly/ I TOLD you not to toss my clothes when you took them off. I'm NOT going on stage looking like this. /Walks of to change/

Yugi: OO!

Yami: What happened to your shirt Kaiba?

Seto: Joey ripped it off… he can be kind of wild when in the moment… it's quite nice. /shrug/

Joey: I'm back. / Is wearing tight cut of shorts and a tank/ let's roll.

Yugi: Joey isn't that a bit revealing?

Joey: No…if can't wear short shorts than Yami can't wear leather.

Yami: OH GOD NO! IN ALL THAT IS HOLY DON'T TAKE MY LEATHER AWAY FROM ME!

Yugi/sigh/ fine fine… let's just get this over with. I'll be in the tech room working the control panels. I WILL be watching from the TV screens so please don't do anything bad.

Joey/walks off to stage/ we won't.

Seto/slaps Joey's butt/

Joey: OO/blush/

Seto/smile/

Yugi: sigh… well let's get ready. The show starts in 5 minutes. I hope everyone can be ready in that time….

Yami/smile/ don't worry. I'll take care of everything. /skips off and crashes into food table/ Xx

Yugi//that's what I'm afraid of/

End ch 4

Thanks and I in the next chapter they will start the show and there will be a few surprises. Some cheating going on and a strop show as well. So review and you'll get a cookie and a seto/Joey holding hands plushy. Ja ne minna san!


	5. Chapter 5

Joey: Medoriko does not own yugioh or any of its characters…

Chapter 5: The Truth comes out.

Yugi: watching TV screen I sure hope this doesn't blow up in our faces… again…

/ on stage/

Assistant director: Ok and we're on in 5, 4,3,2,1 /signals for yami to start/

Yami: Oh are we on/confused look/

Camera Man/whispers/ Yami we're on…

Yami: OO! OH! Oops… um... Welcome to Yami Springer. I'm your host… Yami/strikes a pose/

Seto: lame…

Yami: Um… today's episode… Love, Truth and Lies.

Joey/wait… that wasn't what we agreed on/ …

Yami: Our guests today included the very rich and cunning Seto Kaiba

Fan girls: WE LOVE YOU SETO! MARRY US!

Joey/takes out sniper/ I wonder long it would take me to hide so many dead bodies….

Fan Girls: Oo; sorry…

Seto: Good puppy!

Yami: ermm… anyways that would be Seto's golden and very psychotic lover Joey.

/silence/

Joey: APPLAUD DAMNIT!

/Everyone applauds in fear for their lives/

Yami: Um… and there will be many more guests and surprised when as the progress. Now, first off Seto tell us a little about you and Joey's relationship.

Seto: Well Yami, me and the puppy have been together for two years now. /sigh/ it all started with that glorious night in that closet… a tad bit cramped but it did the job… than there was the time we were at the library and…

Yami: WE GET IT! Anyways, so I'm sure you believe that your relationship is secure… right?

Seto: Well yes… unless the puppy had been bad… /looks at Joey/

Joey: hehe….;;;

/doorbell sound rings/

Audience: ooo…..

Joey/oh no…/

Yami: Let's bring out our new guest…DUKE DEVLIN!

Fan girls: YAY DUKE!

Duke: Ah yes… its time for someone to confess…

Seto: --; I don't like where this is going.

Joey: um… seto. I didn't mean for it to happen but… I slept with Duke. ;

Seto: OO! YOU DID WHAT?

Joey: I'm sorry… it happened so fast. Besides, I don't think it's relevant because you and I weren't even together than anyways…Duke forced me into it…/sniffle/tear/ I… I didn't want it… /sob/

Audience: awww…..

Duke: aw come on/… no one's gonna believe that on…

Yami: It's... so… sad. /blows nose/

Duke: --;; I stand corrected.

Seto/pats Joey on the back/ its ok puppy. I won't let the dice freak hurt you anymore.

Joey/sniffle/

Duke: Not fair --

Yami: Well it seems that Joey and Kaiba won't be splitting any time soon. So Duke just waited his time. Isn't life grand?

Duke: I hate you all --

Yami: That's nice now lets get to a commercial break and we'll return with some more Yami Springer.

Assistant: 5 minutes until break time is over.

Joey/seto/runs off to closet again/

Yami: Hmm… I think that we'll need some more action…A HA! I know what to do. /evil chuckle/

Yami/on cell phone/ yeah Tea Joey said you could use his new car. Yeah it's a red car... I believe it's a 2001 Eclipse Spyder. Yep the one Seto got him for his Birthday. … Yes I know it's strange for him to do that but… he said you're such a good friend…

Tea: But I can't drive yet. Are you sure? Why didn't he call me instead of you?

Joey: SETO!

Yami: He's busy right now… and wanted me to tell you. You can practice on it. ;;; /Joey's gonna kill me for this one but it'll be worth it/

Tea: Well…. Ok than. I'll be by to pick it up at the studio. /hangs up/

Yami: And the plot thickens. /evil chuckle/

DUN DUN DUUUUUNNN!

TBC

REVIEW!


	6. Chapter 6

Hi everyone. It's me medoriko with the 6th and second to last chapter of Yami Springer. Well now that that's said… lets get on with the show. And DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW! Kay?

Oh and I don't own it…

Chapter 6: The Wheels on the Bus…

Where we last left our favorite yugioh cast; Duke (in some lame attempt to humiliate Joey) made Joey confess that he was with Duke for one night.

Joey: Yeah that was the lousiest five minutes of my life…--;;

And Yami has decided it would be a great idea to lend tea Joey's Eclipse spider sports car for an evening drive…Now lets continue shall we?

Yami: Annnddd… we're back with more Yami Springer. Our next guests are professional models who want to see our guests strut their stuff. Please welcome our model judges.

Audience/applauds/

Judge #1: Yes thanks for having us Yami.

Yami: And you are going to Judge our "annual" Yami Springer Model contest.

Judge #2: Yes, there will be many categories to win. There will be the cutest model, the sexiest model, the most likely to sleep with someone in the casting to win model, and finally the better blonde model. /nod nod/

Yami: Well than let's meet out contestants. First off we have Ryou!

Girls: AWWW/gushes/

Ryou: Oh dear…/blush/

Yami: We also have Marik Ashtray! snicker

Marik: IT'S ISHTAR YOU IDIOT PHAROAH/fumes/

Yami: Right Right, we also have Duke Devlin.

Duke/runs out/ yeah!

Girls: You hurt Joey! You suck/boo's/

Duke: --

Yami: And finally, our ever so sexy Joey Wheeler.

Joey/comes out naked/I've always wanted to do this/ LOOK AT ME IM NAKED/turns around and smacks his butt/

Guys: OO! drools

Girls: applauds

Joey/posing in suggestive positions/

Seto: Oh no you don't covers Joey up with a towel

Joey/giggle/

Yami: errmm... well let's start our first contest. /looks at card and does a double take/ umm… the casual robe contest/shrugs/

/in tech room/

Yugi: Oo…so wrong…

/back on stage/

Yami: Come on out you guys.

/Audience whistles an cheers/

Ryou/ wearing a cute light blue robe with snowflakes on it/

Marik/wearing a flashy red robe with flames on it/ Kick Ass!

Joey/wearing a VERY short white robe/ silky….

Yami: Alright now for the next contest…umm… the club wear contest?

Ryou: OO! Club wear/but I don't go to clubs…/

/5 minutes later/

Yami: alright let's bring them out!

Ryou/wearing one of bakura's leather pants… and nothing else. / …. /girls aww../

Marik/wearing dark red leather pants, a red tank, and matching boots/ I'm so sexy…/waves to crowd/

Joey/wearing black leather daisy dukes¹, one shoulder strapped tank, boots, a dog collar, and a whip/cracks whip/im into bondage…. /winks at seto/

Seto/smirk/ I know…

Yami: Ok and our judges have made their decisions…let's announce the winner of our contests.

/Malik walks in/

Malik: where the hell am I? Oo…Marik?

Marik/waves/

Malik/drools/

M&M/leaves to go do other things…/

Yami: umm… well let's continue…

Judge: The winner of the cutest model contest is…/drum roll/ Ryou!

Ryou: OO! I WON/tears up/ I want…to thank all the little people out there… THANK U YUGI!

/tech room/

Yugi: ­­­­­­­­­­­­­­¬¬ not funny…

/back on stage/

Judge: The winner of both the sexiest model contest and the slut contest is

JOEY WHEELER!

Joey: not a slut…BUT IM HELLA SEXY!

Yami: And that concludes out contest for this year! More fun and more secrets after the break.

Camera Man/whispers/ we're running out of tape sir….

Yami: Or… we could just forget the commercial and continue with more of the show!

/door bell rings/

Audience: ooo…

Seto: This is really getting lame…¬¬;

Yami: Let's bring out our next surprise guest… Sakuya minamoto.

Sakuya: Im here to tell you something seto…

Seto: errm… how about later?

Sakuya: Im pregnant and YOU'RE the father!

Audience: shouts and cheers

Joey: I KNEW IT! I KNEW YOU WERE SCREWING YOUR SECRETARY!

Seto: puppy please…

Joey: How long? Seto…

Seto: It was the time you and I had gotten into a fight… if I could take it back I would.

Sakuya: oh please… like he really wanted u anyways…/smirks/

Joey: OH HELL NO/jumps to fight/

Yami: Wait… it says here that Sakuya is a…guy? Oo…

Sakuya: My mom gave me a feminine name…/blush/

Joey/pulls out scythe blade/ Girl or guy I don't care… IM GONNA KILL YOU! Mother!$#$#

Joey/being held back by the guards/ you damned slut!

Sakuya: Look at you. Im not the one who sleeps with everybody.

Joey: That was BEFORE I got with Seto! Ugly son of a $

Sakuya: SLUTTY &(&$

Joey: ANAL &&#$!

Audience: JERRY JERRY!

Yami: HEY THIS IS MY SHOW!

Audience: ermm… YAMI YAMI!

Yami: better…

Seto: erm… guys?

Joey: SETO HOW COULD YOU/sobs/

Yami: actually he isn't pregnant….

Everyone: OO!

Yami: The DNA test came back negative… he isn't pregnant…who would have thought…

Sakuya: But…but…/guards drag him out/

Yami: Oh dear… so where does this leave you guys?

Joey: I don't know… Seto I may have been with Duke but that was before you and I were together… how could you do this to me?

Seto/pulls out a long black velvet box/ Here… maybe this will help…

/ Inside is a clean cut triple diamond necklace worth a load of cash/

Seto: Joey… that night I was with him… I was drunk from the wine we had consumed… I would never do that to you…im sorry…

Joey/looks at necklace/… ok sure!

Yami: OO! That's it? Where's the drama?

Joey: Sorry yam yam…

Car Tailor: Um… is there a MR. Wheeler present? OO! IM ON TV? HI MOM/waves/

Seto: idiot ¬¬

Joey: Yes, that would be me? Why?

Tailor: Um.. well your Eclipse Spyder was crashed into a wall and we wanted to tell you that

Your car was crashed into a brick wall and the insurance will cover that.

Seto/pulls out load of cash and gives it to tailor/ You're a smart guy… go and buy the exact same

Car… if you don't return… I will find you…/murderous look/

Seto: what did I tell you about lending your car to your friends…?

Joey: I didn't…. hey mister. What did the person driving it look like?

Tailor: Well… it was a she… she had brown hair, blue eyes and talked a helluva lot about

Friendship. Here's the pictures of the damage.

Yami: Gee… I wonder…¬¬

Joey/sits in shock /twitch/

Tailor: oh and there was a duel monsters deck in there too… but it was all burned ot a crisp… and a few other expensive things…

Joey/staring at the pictures while violently twitching/ ……

Seto: puppy… now calm down…

Joey: I…am….going…to… KILL THAT WASTE OF UGLY SKIN/ grabs machete and runs out of the studio/

Seto: Oh well... another loser about to die… sad I can't see it…

Yami: on the contrary my friend…/puts hand on Seto's shoulder./

Seto: Don't touch me. --

Yami/removes hand/ umm… I have a camera attached to tea… so we'll see everything form her eyes. Once we get it working… let's take a SHORT commercial break and we'll be right back.

Seto: I hate this - -;;

TBC

Well all I can say is that tea is in BIG trouble…lol.

¹ Daisy Dukes: Shorts that come right up under your butt cheeks. How fetching on our favorite puppy

REVIEW!

Ryou: JA/eats some crumpets/


	7. Grand Finale

Hello everyone and welcome to the last sniffle chapter of Yami Springer. Now, I know some of you were upset due to the fact that this is the last chapter but do not fear….drum roll

Joey: Medoriko has already written a new fic with the same style of writing. happy dance

Medoriko: Yes and it will be called: The Joys of Camping! It will be out as soon, and I mean as soon, as I can get this fic done. Okies? Now on with the show! AND REVIEW!

/ Grand Finale/

Yami: Hello all and welcome back to yami Springer. Where we last left off…new drama. Joey, our guest has discovered his once lovely sports car is now totaled and is on the prowl for Tea. In case you don't remember his response lets show a recap. Oh and in case I forget Marik and Joey have released poisonous snaked and spiders…so be careful!

Marik: Erm…sorry?

Random Person: AHH! IV'E BEEN BITTEN!

Yami: Umm…. In case I didn't mention…Yami Springer is NOT responsible for ANY death or injuries obtained before, during, and after the show.

Marik: Yeah so don't sue… I wanna go to college…plus Joey will convince Seto to hire a lawyer to counter sue and you'll lose anyways. /smile/

/In tech room/

Yugi: Now which button is the right one….hmm…well I like the color green so…this one /pressed green button/

/Studio/

Yami: And here's the recap from before the commerci- OO!

Everyone: OO/nosebleeds/

/ Instead of a recap video of Joey freaking out there is a video playing of Seto and Joey having sex./

Seto: memories…. /licks lips/

Yami: erm...SOMEONE TURN THAT OFF!

Yugi: OO! Sorry…/turns off video/

Audience: Awww….

Yami: Erm…anywho. Let's skip the recap and just get on with the present time shall we? Marik will you do the honors?

Marik/wearing a duck outfit/mutters/ im gonna kill that idiot…OH! I mean…hehe…Yami has ever so cleverly put a tape on tea that will show everything from tea's eyes.

Yami: Very good but aren't we forgetting something?

Marik: ………………..quack quack ¬¬.

Seto/snicker snicker/

Yami: Very good. Now everyone turn over to your left to see the large plasma screen so we can watch the action first hand!

Everyone(except Seto)/turns to the right/

Yami: YOUR OTHER LEFT!

Everyone: Ohhhh.../turns the other way/

Yami: ……ok. Roll em'

/Screen fizzles a bit then comes on and all that's can be seen is some buildings. /

Yami/chuckle/ Tea must be trying to hide….it seems like she may be safe.

Joey: TEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Yami: or not /smile/

Tea/starts to run/

/Joey can be seen running in the background as tea turns to look/

Yami: And he's getting closer…. /pulls out popcorn/ Mmmm….buttery…

Seto: Just watch the video…--;;

/Screen stops bobbing as tea nears a tree and climbs it to the top. Joey can be seen as the bottom yelling obscenities. /

Joey!#&$$&$&$ /takes a deep breathe/ &$&&#!

Yami: OO/blushes/

Yugi/the horror/

Seto: Such a potty mouth….

/Joey appears to walk away and tea wipes her forehead in relief until a loud rumbling noise is heard. Screen adjusts to see Joey with a chainsaw. /

/Tea's screams is all that's heard as the ground becomes closer and the screen goes black…/

Yami/applauds/ what a show!

Seto: Oh my puppy's not done yet.

/Screen turns towards the sky bit fizzles out as tree makes contact Joey's maniacal laughter is heard/

/Screen turns on once again to see Joey in pursuit of tea once again/

Yami: OO! Wow, she survived that…

Seto: I think this chase is over. Take a look.

/Screen shows Joey hot wiring a car, getting in and driving towards tea at maximum speed/

Yami: RUN TEA RUN! XD

/ The ground is now visible as tea trips and falls. Screen adjusts to see the car's tires coming. Screen fizzles out as tea screams. /

Audience: OO!

Yami and Seto: XDDDDDDD!

Yugi :...

Joey: Im back you guys. Did ya miss me?

Seto/grabs his butt/ I know I did…/wink wink/

Joey/blush/

Yami: erm…well I guess that's it than…oh and Joey's pregnant!

Everyone: OO!

Joey: YAMI/drags him to a closet and yami's screams are heard/

Joey/comes out wiping his hands/

Seto: Pregnant? o.O?

Joey: Don't worry Seto…it's your kid. I did a DNA test and everything. Besides, as much as we go at it im sure it is…though I am a bit surprised that I haven't gotten pregnant sooner….

Yami/comes out of closet beaten and bloody/ Well that's all folks.../passes out/

/ At School/

Teacher: Well class you all have had months to do this project and its time to present. Yami your group is first.

Yami: But…/Joey won't go up there because he's 6 months along and won't strain himself…and Kaiba's being a lazy bastard…¬¬/

Yugi: Ermm… our group did a rendition of Jerry Springer so…play the tape…

/Tape shows random acts of violence (mostly on Joey's part), the model contest, Joey running around Naked, Marik beating Yami with his duck suit on, the death of tea, and the poison incident/

Class: OO!

Yami: well…that's it. So what's our grade?

Teacher: Umm…I'm sorry but you get an F.

Yugi: OO!

Yami: AN F! But why?

Teacher: The rules were…NO violence

Joey: Oopss…that was me.XD

Seto: Don't worry about it pup. /rubs Joey's swollen belly/

Teacher: NO swearing!

Joey: Me again XD

Teacher: NO nudity or sexual preferences!

Joey: MAN when will Ilearn? XD

Teacher: And NO SEX!

Joey/Seto: That was us XDDD

Yugi: ¬¬

Teacher: Oh coarse Mr. Kaiba and Mr. Wheeler pass with an A. Now please be seated. Next group?

Yami/sniff/ Not fair….oh well I guess next time we'll have to do a cleaner show like…CROSSING OVER WITH YAMI! XDDD

Yugi: But yami…you're not even psychic…

Yami: Nooo…but Joey is…/looks pleadingly at Joey/

Joey: Oh no…I am NOT doing another idiotic show with you…

Yami: Fine than…how about…YAMI LAKE!

Seto: idiot --

/Later on they did the Yami Lake show. Joey walked around naked, cussed, and blew up a supermarket (moods swings), Seto just chilled, Yugi passed out a lot. Yami got attacked by a bear (Joey's doing) and was a great host (Seto disagrees). Seto and Joey passed…Yami and Yugi failed once again. Some people just never learn./

OWARI!

REVIEW!


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